Here’s my Dare To Love Yourself Challenge Video Day 2 – I share with you my “This Too Shall Pass” Moment:

I have tried affirmations in the past without a huge shift – but I never did stick to it every day for 3 weeks. When I do them I feel like I am lying sometimes. When I’m not in a good mood I can’t possibly believe that many of those phrases could ever be possible.

A friend of mine on Facebook, Nancy Barry-Jansson has taught hundreds of people how to get the most from affirmations and is a coach. Her comment to my Day 1 Challenge video yesterday was “Be kind to yourself, Andrea. If affirmations were *true* you wouldn’t benefit from saying them ~feeling like a stretch means they will stretch your consciousness (if you stick with them). If they are too much of a stretch, you can baby-step them.” The part I bolded really helped me feel better.

[Read more →]

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“Families don’t need martyrs, they need mothers. You have to take care of yourself first, so you have something to give. You can’t give what you don’t have.” Dr. Phil

This quote was posted by a friend of mine who is taking the Dare To Love Yourself Challenge with me.

Here’s a few videos I recorded, will try to Vlog every day of the Challenge!! =)

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My book review that I just posted on Amazon.com:

“When I first met Heather T Forbes, I interviewed her on my weekly parenting
podcast. I was so impressed that I then read her books and it was like
a light went on inside of me. Finally after 32 years of being alive
someone could explain to me why I was the way that I was.

I had many of these behaviors growing up (lying, stealing,
hoarding, gorging, aggression, defiance) in private. To the outside
world I was beautiful, highly accomplished and friendly. However, my
first marriage crumbled, and only because of my second husband’s
unconditional love and understanding was I able to finally stop
stealing. But when I became a parent I was horrified at how reactive I
was to my daughter (our IVF biological child, no trauma).

Reading this book lead to so much self understanding and healing
for me – it was a GODSEND. Heather puts on a Mom’s Conference several
times a year that I went to in May of 09 and my life did a 180 from
then on. I was able to heal and forgive deep abandonment issues from my
childhood. No longer am I reactive the way that I was before I shifted
to the Beyond Consequences parenting paradigm.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar and put on meds. I
do not feel that it was accurate, and I am no longer on medication to
deal with my moods.

Granted I have also changed my diet so that I eat more raw dark
leafy greens and fruits daily, something I didn’t before and that has
impacted my outlook on life tremendously. But as Heather says in her
online parenting classes based on this book, all the good food in the
world can’t help you if you don’t truly love yourself, deep down
inside, unconditionally.

Heather’s work will help you understand what that truly means and how to give it to your children.

I have used this understanding and these methods with my almost 3
yr old for the past 5 months with huge success. I think this book
should be retitled to apply to all human beings! Thank God I have the
tools to give my precious child the most loving and respectful
upbringing while respecting and loving myself as well.

I can’t recommend this book enough.

THANK YOU HEATHER!”

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This past week, I helped Heather Forbes, LCSW put on a webinar titled “I’m the One Who Needs the Time-Out!” so I was really busy with that and the online classes we did and didn’t have time for an in depth blog post here.

I wanted to say that we had over 1,100 parents sign up for this online class in just a week of prep for it.

Almost half showed up live and they were very interested in what she had to say.

The response was amazing, and it just shows what a need there is for the information that Heather is getting out there. I am really glad to be a part of her team, because I know that I am helping to make a huge difference in people’s lives and in the generations to come.

I am very excited to be going to her Mom’s Conference in Denver as a facilitator next month. Going to this event changed my life and I was able to heal deep abandonment issues I’d stuffed and suffered from since I was a child. Join me if you need a change in your life, in your family – it starts with your own healing. Read more about my healing experience.

Are you with me?

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Do you ever find yourself overreacting to your child’s behavior? Do you sometimes find yourself at your brink, not understanding how you could have moved from a place of pure love and joy to absolute frustration and intolerance?

Parenting is the hardest job–ever! Our children can move us to a whole new level within ourselves, especially children with traumatic histories. They have a way of challenging us like no one else on this planet could ever do.

Listen in on this webinar with Heather T. Forbes, LCSW to discover why these dynamics are happening within you. You aren’t going crazy! There is a reason for these intense feelings and she will bring to you a new understanding to settle your heart and mind. As an adoptive mother herself, she knows first hand how it feels to be the one who needs a time-out more than your child! Heather will also share some of her own personal story of healing that will inspire you and help you embrace each moment with your child.

Space is limited – Choose which date and time works best for you:

Reserve your Webinar seat for September 16th, 2009 at 9:30pm MDT now:
https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/723306186

Reserve your Webinar seat for September 21st, 2009 at 7:30pm MDT now:
https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/265332339

(These are exactly the same, delivered on different days/times for your convenience.) After registering for the day/time of your choice, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the Webinar.

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When “in the moment” your child is in his right brain, unable to access his cognitive and rational thinking. Image by cloois via Flickr

“When ‘in the moment’ with your child, your child is in his right brain. He is emotional and he is unable to access his cognitive and rational thinking (i.e., his left brain.) Asking him to tell you ‘why’ he is acting in this way is non-productive. Asking him to make a ‘choice’ is impossible. And asking him to ’stop’ is against nature.

Allow yourself to join your child in his dysregulated emotional place. Let the rational thought and the life lesson follow later when he is calm and more receptive. Join him in love and allow him the space to be all he knows how to be for that very moment. ” ~ Heather Forbes, LCSW

I wanted to share this email that I got from one of our online parenting class participants, who originally began studying Heather’s work to help kids in orphanages and found it was “ideal and needed” for her own family’s healing… [Read more →]

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Image via Wikipedia

“When you seek to change your child, you must look within yourself first to see what it is in you that needs to be changed.

Healing through relationships is a reciprocal process and you, as the parent, need to take the lead in spearheading the movement.” Heather Forbes, LCSW

I got an email this week from one of our students that I wanted to share as well as my response…

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By June Ebell

Heather and Andrea,

At the beginning I was skeptical about the Beyond Consequences method.

I believe there is no “magic wand” that you can wave, and everything is roses (with no thorns).
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Online Parenting Class Testimonial from Karen Adams, Beyond Consequences Instructor

- Tell us a little about yourself

I am a bio mom of adult kids, a former special needs and therapeutic foster parent, and a new adoptive mom. I am choosing to adopt children from US foster care that are already “labeled” with diagnoses including RAD, PTSD, ADHD, FAS, Mental Retardation, Adjustment Disorder of Childhood. [Read more →]

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